He couldn’t remember the dream he had. Getting up from the recliner, his back stiff, he noticed that Dakota was still asleep on the sleeper. Checking the clock, he made his way through the house. Opening the shades slightly he allowed the bright morning September sun piercing through as he was getting the coffee going. Dakota stirred as the scent of coffee began to awake her.
“Morning…” Jaymes said, wanting to say ‘Morning Princess’ but realized there was still a lot of getting to know one another between father and daughter. Though they did not talk much last night, he thought she understood when she saw the doll house and the doll collection he had kept for her. Whatever happened last night was now a distant memory as he got two cups ready for the both of them. “Care for some coffee?”
“Sure.” She yawned and stretched. He didn’t know why he had not seen it before, but he noticed the tattoo on the back of her neck as she turned around and went for her bags. Shrugging his shoulders, he resolved that she had been through some things and he would have to accept what life she had lead, or he could not be a father. Getting her cup ready, she asked for cream and sugar as she sat at the table. Bringing over the cream and sugar, he forgot that all the pictures still cluttered a good portion of the table. She looked over the pictures while taking a sip of coffee. She stirred in some spoonfuls of sugar into the coffee.
“Who is this?” she asked, picking up one of the pictures.
“That’s Ellyn,” Jaymes replied, looking at the picture she showed him. It was a snapshot of Ellyn as she was bent over inside the car. She had brought over her vehicle so that Jaymes could help her clean it out, at the time, she was driving a run-down Ford Sprint, and the vehicle looked like a garbage can on wheels. Her face dissatisfied as Jaymes had taken the photo. She was kneeling in the driver’s seat, her gray tee falling open, allowing an unobtrusive view of her.
“She’s attractive,” Dakota said, sipping her coffee. Suddenly she tossed the picture down and pointed to it, interrupting his thoughts. “That’s…that’s her. That’s who I saw sitting in the chair last night.”
“You sure you saw her sitting in the chair?” Jaymes asked. He knew something was up last night, but did not want to scare her anymore than she already was scared. He was thinking as Dakota looked at him.
“I’m not into that psychic stuff, tarot reading and all that jazz.”
“What?” He caught what she said.
“I said I’m not into that psychic stuff and all that jazz,” she responded again. Jaymes chuckled. “What?”
“You know, I used to go a round saying, ‘and all that jazz’, and here you are saying ‘and all that jazz’.” She looked at her father and waved her hand. “Seriously…” Jaymes paused for a few moments. “You sure you saw her?”
“Dad, I…I’m not sure, but I swear. It was as if someone was standing there looking at me, then sitting on the bed, caressing my face, whispering to me and then sitting in the chair watching me sleep,” Dakota said, picking up the picture again. Jaymes still found it awkward, but warming to hear that word Dad on her lips.
“Maybe it wasn’t my imagination at all then,” Jaymes ventured to say.
“What? You saw something too?” she asked.
“I’m not quite sure if I did or not…?” He looked back at the picture. “I mean, it could’ve been her, but…” He stopped himself, “never mind.”
“What?” Dakota pressed.
“Maybe she is here, spiritually speaking, watching over me. I don’t know, but there was something eerie in that room last night.” He sighed, pushing the thought from his mind. “Anyway, you hungry princess?” he asked.
“Yeah, a little. I guess we’re supposed to talk and stuff huh?” She turned around as Jaymes stood up from his chair and watched him walk over to a cabinet with his cup of coffee. She noticed him pulling a bottle of Christian Brothers Brandy from the cabinet, and then placing a small amount of liquid into his cup of coffee.
“Why you doing that?” she asked curiously.
“Doing what?” Jaymes replied, setting aside the bottle of brandy.
“Drinking this early in the morning?” Dakota pressed.
“Dakota…” He walked over and took up his seat again. “It’s been a rough week for me.” He sighed. “Ellyn came into my life when I didn’t think there was anything going for me.” He knew it was coming but did not want to get into it just yet. He wanted to ease into this, get to know what she has gone through, what school was like, how she did in school. “Dakota…”
“Yes…”
“After your mother left me, I didn’t date or settle down with anyone for some time, until I met Ellyn.”
“What happened between you and mom?” she asked, the question he played out in his mind over and over again many sleepless night and depressing days. He spent time formulating words, responses, practicing as if he was giving the speech of his life. But the question still caught him off guard. “I don’t want no happy love story how you and mom met and fell in love, rolled around and voilà, here is your little princess.” Her sarcasm bit hard, but Jaymes took it in stride as he drank his coffee. “You always wanted to call me little princess?” she asked him, and with a serious look in her eyes, she looked her father over. Silence filtered in as he stared into his cup of coffee. “Dad, before you talk with me about you and mom, I would like to know what you were going to say about you and Ellyn.” Dakota took a drink of her coffee.
“Whether I talk about Ellyn, or the relationship your mother and I had, it’s going to take time for me to be able to open up.”
“Dad…”
“Dakota, for whatever reason your mother decided to pack up and move away without saying a word, she must have had a good reason. I am not going to say anything bad about your mother. I wish I was able to have been a part of your life in some respects, but the only thing I could do was hope that I would see you some day. Hope that you and I could sit and talk, get to know one another, and if you don’t want to have anything to do with me, I understand. It’s just right now, the timing isn’t right. Not meeting you, but the death of my wife is too much…”
Dakota took his hand into hers. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Dad, I’m angry. Angry that you were not there for me. I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. Mom told me that you had moved away and found someone else and that you were happier.”
“There was no happiness there, Dakota.” He took a final drink of coffee and now stared into an empty cup. “When you and your mom left, I was devastated. I lost my job, everything. Ended up homeless. My parents, your grandmother and grandfather, did what they could to help me out, but my father’s condition weakened over the year, and finally passed away. Then my mother suffered from heartbreak, her only child destroying his life, her husband passing on, she just gave up on life and became a living shell.” Getting up, he brought the coffeepot over and refilled her cup as well as his, then set it down on the windowsill.
” After your grandmother died, my mother, I waited till the reading of the will. Having to sell the home I grew up in, the home that I was hoping to bring my children to…”
“Children?”
“Well, Ellyn and I were trying to have our own children. She felt incomplete not being able to have a child of her own.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway, I packed up and just moved away. Selling everything I owned everything my parents owned, and I just packed up and disappeared. Went to tour Europe for a year. Came back and just kind of toured the States, stopping here and there. Until finally, I just came back home.”
“Dad, you okay?” She kept her hand upon his, the tender young smooth hand provides comfort. Turning his hand over, he held hers, caressing it. Taking him back to when she was three years old, before her mom and her disappeared form his life.
“Sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he whispered, his lips trembling, the lump in his throat becoming almost suffocating. Tears streaking along his cheeks. “Sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he repeated.
“Dad, don’t be sorry,” she said, taking hold of her father’s other hand.
“I don’t know what your mom told you about what happened,” Jaymes said. Dakota sat back, her hands moving from his as he stared blankly into the empty cup. “You see, I met your mother when my life was not solid.” Dakota reached over and picked up the carafe and refilled both their cups. “I really didn’t have much going for me. My parents were on my case because I just kinda drifted here and there. Chandler, well…now Detective Mickey Chandler, and I became best of friends. We were like brothers, inseparable and most people couldn’t stand him.” Jaymes took a drink of coffee. “Well, we’d always get into trouble. Anyways, your mom and I met at the apartment that Chandler was staying at. She was not staying with him, but she was in the same apartment complex. I asked her out, and we just kinda, you know started dating.”
“Yeah, mom told me all about that. So what is Chandler like?” she asked, picking up a picture of Jaymes and another gentleman standing next to a wood carving of a pregnant woman.
“That’s Chandler on the other side of the statue. He can be somewhat stand-offish when you meet him, but he is all right,” Jaymes said as Dakota examined the picture briefly before placing it back down. “Well, after your mom and I became serious, we decided to live with each other. I had found a good reasonable paying job, she was going back to school to get her degree, and life was good.” Those days started coming to his mind. A time that was distant, forgotten and seemingly ages ago. “Well, when I came home from work, your mom said that she was pregnant. We were so happy about that. We started making plans to marry. My dad was against it, my mom was not indifferent either way. Chandler was happy about it.”
“So why did you guys decide not to get married?” she asked.
“That…I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that suddenly…things started changing.” He released a sigh, having forgotten he was breathing very shallow and holding his breath at times. “
“Your mother became distant. The plans to marry fizzled. In fact, there was a time she actually moved out of our house we were renting, well, I was renting at the time.”
“I don’t think she told me about that,” Dakota became interested, leaning forward listening intently to her father recall the events surrounding her mother and father.
“Then you were born. I had not heard from your mother in a couple days, maybe longer, I can’t recall, but I was working when she had a friend of hers call to tell me she was in labor. I showed up at the emergency room and…well…I guess at the last minute her friend convinced her that I needed to be there. Holding you, my heart filled with joy, peace and all that jazz.” Jaymes took another drink of coffee and then lit a cigarette from the deck of cigarettes he produced from his pocket.
“So things evened out with mom and you?” She asked.
“Yeah, in fact, we started drawing closer. Very close in fact. Plans to marry came back into our discussions.”
“So what happened?” The question still as piercing then as it is today.
“Dakota, your mother is a wonderful person. She’s a lady who has dealt with a lot in her life, and I respect her. I guess you can say that I still love her.”
“Dad, every once in a while when I had asked mom about you. She would tell me that you were gone, that I was to forget about you, she was so angry. But at night when I would sneak out to our living room where we lived, I would hear her cry, calling out your name, sometimes yelling sometimes just talking. I guess she had not forgotten about her feelings for you.”
“We both did our best, but eventually…” Jaymes took a deep breath, how much does she want to know? He questioned in his mind. “In the end, your mother just left me, no word as to where she went, and no word as to where she took you. I came home and found the house dark, and all our stuff gone. It was then I started drinking, not going to work, losing my job and then the house we shared. I couldn’t deal with life at that time.”
“Mom said you had started seeing someone.”
“No, no, I didn’t start seeing someone.” He realized there was an agitated defensiveness to his tone of voice. “Sorry, I mean I wasn’t seeing someone.”
“Then what happened?”
Jaymes took a long drag from the cigarette.
“I had an opportunity after I had lost my job. An opportunity for a better paying job and so I interviewed with this company called Antique Books, a website company that had started up. I had a lunch interview for a management position and when I walked in, I inquired for a Lisa Mitchell. Being escorted to a table, there sitting alone was a very attractive lady.” He chuckled a little. “Anyway,” waving at something and sitting up, he shifted in the chair, “I sat down and introduced myself. She had nice blond hair, very well shapely and…” He looked at Dakota curiously, “Anyway, it was an interview for a job that would really help your mother and I out. Though, she knew about the job interview, she didn’t know it was with a lady, neither did I.”
“So let me guess, mom found out you were with this lady and took it the wrong way?” Dakota asked cautiously.
“No…well…yes, she did find out, but when I got up and shook the lady’s hand, we were standing a little close when I heard your mother’s voice.”
“Oh, she showed up and saw you with her.”
“More or less, your mom made a big scene, throwing accusations like a politician in a mud slinging contest. This lady, a career woman looked at me, looked at her and the interviewer told me she would call me if there was a position opened for someone with my qualifications. You know, the old ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’ speech.”
“Ouch.”
“Ouch doesn’t even begin to describe it. I could say your mom cost me a good career that would’ve been the best move in my life…but…” Jaymes stopped. “Anyway, we became further and further apart until she packed up and moved away, taking you with her. Like I said, I had arrived at home to find you guys gone, no note, and no nothing. The only thing I had of yours was a baby blanket my mother made for you.”
“How come mom didn’t tell me that?” she said, cocking her head to one side.
“I don’t know, and your mom didn’t want me to tell you.”
“Well, she had told me something different. That you were having a lunch date with this lady that you knew from high school and that she found out you were cheating on her.”
“Dakota, your mother had some friends that always went to her, and she unfortunately believed every story they were saying and wouldn’t talk with me about it. Of course, it always ended up in a fight, but I tried my best to deal with what I could deal with.”
“Well, between you and me dad, mom has never been happy. She had many boyfriends…” then Dakota stopped. I really don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay.” Dakota sat back in her chair for a moment, releasing a heavy sigh. “I’ll call mom to see if she can come pick me up.” Dakota pulled the phone over to her and dialed her home number. “Mom, I’m wondering if you could pick me up?” She paused and rolled her eyes as she looked over at her father. “Yeah…uh huh…I don’t know. I could ask mom…okay, love you too. Bye mom.” Dakota hung up the phone. “Yeah, mom is going to pick me up.” She paused for a moment, shifting in her chair. “Dad, mom was wondering if maybe…”
“Maybe what?”
“She’s just wondering if maybe you could meet her for coffee or something.
“Or something…?” Jaymes chuckled
“What?”
“Nothing Dakota, it’s just, your mother always used that tag line of hers when she asked me a question,” Jaymes said, getting up and stowing the two cups in the sink to be washed later. Sitting back in the chair, they talked about trivial things, waiting for Lacey to arrive. The coffee starting to work on his nerves as he could feel the caffeine pump through his blood. Jaymes and Dakota looked through the photographs when a vehicle pulled up in the drive and the engine was mercilessly killed. Within moments, a knock at the door was heard. Excusing himself from the table, Dakota thumbed through more of the pictures that were sprawled all over the table.
Jaymes opened the door, and noticed Lacey standing there, cigarette in hand.
“Hey, please come in.” Jaymes moved away from the door, allowing Lacey to enter. “Here, let me get you an ashtray.” He quickly hunted for an ashtray and located one on the shelf of the entertainment center.
“Hey mom.” Dakota looked up from examining a picture. Lacey nodded and looked around the living room and then made her way into the dining room.
“You and your father had a nice visit?” Lacey spoke collectively and calmly.
“Yeah…just looking at some pictures here of dad.” Dakota stood and moved over to where her mother was and hugged her. Jaymes admired both Lacey and his daughter, wanting to take both into his arms at that moment.
“Actually, I asked Dakota if she wanted to go to breakfast. You’re more than welcome to come along.” Lacey looked toward Jaymes as she pulled away from Dakota. Extinguishing the cigarette, she set the ashtray down on the ledge of the wall.
“Well…” Mother and daughter exchanged glances.
“I’ll go,” Lacey reluctantly answered. “But somewhere other than downtown.” She shot Jaymes a cold glare.
“What?” he responded playfully.
“Dakota, will you excuse your father and I for a moment,” Lacey asked.
“Uh, sure.” Dakota patted her father’s shoulder as she walked past him, heading to the back bedroom to gather her backpack and belongings.
“I don’t want to get home and have her tell me that you said a bunch of bullshit lies about what happened between us.” Lacey looked intensely at Jaymes, managing to keep her voice down.
“Whoa! Wait a minute here, Lace.” Jaymes threw his hands in the air.
“Don’t call me that, Jay,” she replied. “And you wait a minute! I raised that kid by myself, without your help or influence.” She was standing, her arms crossed tightly under her chest.
“Lacey, let’s not get into this okay. Let’s just go, have some coffee, some breakfast and just get re-acquainted with one another, okay?” She shook her head and kept her cold gaze focused on Jaymes. Both heard Dakota coming from the back room, along the hall and out the front door.
“I came across that girlfriend of yours you got staying here.” Jaymes did a double take.
“What do you mean?” Pausing, not sure what to expect. “I don’t have a girlfriend. For Crissakes, my wife passed away, and my sister-in-law, Desiree, suddenly seems to think I need to be taken care of.”
“Well, whoever she is, she came into the bar I work at. She was swearing up and down, saying that her boyfriend had some young slut staying at his house, and she can’t believe he is replacing her for a younger model!” Dakota passed by the two of them and out the door again, carrying the last of her belongings. Jaymes hoped she didn’t catch wind of the conversation Lacey and he were having.
“How do you know this lady, if it was Desiree, was referring to me?” Jaymes questioned.
“Because she said your name,” Lacey snapped back.
“There are probably a handful of people with the name James,” Jaymes replied
“When I said she mentioned your name Jaymes, I meant she said, Jay!” Lacey paused for a second. “And Chandler walked in when she was talking about you. She, this Desi chick told him that you were with a young lady for the night.”
“And what did Chandler say or do Lacey?” Jaymes asked, curious now.
“Chandler just laughed. Now I know the two of them weren’t talking about some other guy, but you. I’m not that dumb, Jay!” Lacey shook her head for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Whatever is going on Jaymes, I just don’t want you to hurt my little girl okay.” She then looked up at him.
“Lace…”
“Jay…” She placed her hand on his chest, “Please don’t call me that…it…it brings back feelings I still have for you.” She fell into his arms for a moment, then pushed him back, “Maybe we shouldn’t do breakfast,” Lacey said, then turned and began walking out the front door, Jaymes trailing behind her and noticed Dakota down along the steps.”
“Lacey, I would like to talk,” Jaymes called after her. Lacey stopped and spun around to face him.
“What nerve and right do you have coming back into her and my life, huh?” You fuckin’ bastard. God! Jaymes…!” She broke down and crumbled into his arms when he stepped up close to her. Pounding against his chest as Chandler walked up. He smiled toward Dakota. Lacey pulled away from Jaymes. “Jay, maybe some other time.” She turned, wiping the tears from her eyes and motions for Dakota to get in. Jaymes looked at Dakota and mouthed ‘I love you’ to her. She waved and then got into the car before her mother backed out of the drive and raced down the street.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Chandler asked patting Jaymes on the shoulder. They both went in. “Well now, I guess that nice little cozy family reunion went well,” Chandler chuckled.
“Wanna beer?” Jaymes asked as he stepped into the kitchen and headed toward the fridge. Jaymes pulled one out for himself and set it on the counter. He then opened the cabinet and pulled out the bottle of brandy and finding a glass, poured himself a healthy portion of brandy.
“Sorry Jay, I don’t drink and neither should you.” Chandler sat on the kitchen table. “Desiree is on her way over here, I met up with her after you and I had talked yesterday. She isn’t too happy, asking me all about your daughter and why she never was told about Dakota. She seems very upset and well, just some heads up. I do have to get going here, but I want to talk with you later tonight okay.” Chandler paused a moment.
“Georgia and Mitch also wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing.”
“Lacey told me that you and Desi had a nice conversation over at a bar she works at.”
“Ah, the little birdie told me routine. What did Lacey tell you?” Chandler watched Jaymes down the brandy, then chasing it with a good long pull from the bottle of beer.
“Nothing but that Desi came in saying I was spending the night with a very attractive young lady that I was claiming to be my daughter.”
“You are so polite Jaymes…translation, Desi said that you were sleeping with a younger woman who is a slut and that you don’t want anything to do with her, meaning Desi, anymore.” Chandler paused a moment, scratching his chin. “Awe…I see says deaf kitty to the blind mouse.”
“Chandler, it’s ‘I see says the blind mouse to the deaf kitty.’ Get your clichés right.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like making up my own stuff. So sue me.”
“I’m going over to Priest Point Park. I think,” Jaymes flatly replied, finishing the beer and setting the bottle in the sink. He leaned on the counter, stretching his back and then turned to face Chandler.
“What do you mean?” Chandler stood, seeing the desperation in Jaymes, a sense of distance there. “Ya alright bro?”
“I have to think things over and I just need to be away from everyone.” Jaymes walked past Chandler, “Make sure the house is locked up, you know how Ellyn can get about me leaving the house empty and the door unlocked,” Jaymes called over his shoulder as he headed out the door.
Recent Comments